Here's some inspiring stuff:

Portland Fellowship is great, I've done their program:

http://www.portlandfellowship.com/

Read the story, "Fighting for righteousness by Anonymous Teen"

Likewise, at a conference, I've met the guy from Canada who started this, he's pretty cool:

http://www.freetobeme.com/

Hang in there!

The first step to changing stuff is being aware of the need. There has to come a day when instead of saying "I'M FINE!!!" when people ask you how you are doing, you say: "I'm feeling kinda low, I need a man to hug me, I need somebody important to notice me." Once you start getting the REAL needs met, the sexy stuff goes from being a roaring monster to a chirping cricket.

PROTIP: It would help communication ENORMOUSLY if you said "I want to be a part of a structured group that helps teenagers who are having trouble with relationships and unwanted same-sex attractions." (And STUDY what they do in the structured groups! Like the ones I just gave you the URL's to!)

Asking for structure is good, because it implies that you understand that a guy your age -- the hormonal age! -- is going to need some structure and accountability if he is going to be around teenagers. To put it bluntly, a guy your age who says, "Ok, yeah, I had some sexual energy going in the wrong direction for a while there, but I TOTALLY FIXED EVERYTHING AND I'M TOTALLY FINE NOW!" sounds like he doesn't know SHIT about what's going on inside his heart, nor how his sexuality works. And I've been listening to you post here for long enough to know that YOU KNOW how tough it is to control the Sexual Beast Within. """""ONE MAN ALONE CAN NOT DO IT."""""

But when you talk about "wanting to reach out to gay teenagers," however innocently you mean it, it is likely to suggest to the adults in power that you are still dreaming of the steamy steamy swamps where everybody is having sex with everybody else. Like the internet. Or the camp showers. And that scares the Moms and Dads....

So don't be afraid to ask to work with teens, but PLAN ON INVITING SOME STRUCTURE AND ACCOUNTABILITY INTO YOUR LIFE. The tricky part is that not very men -- outside of California and Boston! -- are trained for how to do this kind of accountability with teenagers. So you have to have the skill and maturity and grace to interview, maybe like ten guys, before you find the RIGHT guy.

If you interview a dozen guys to be your accountability guy, you're probably going to meet 5 supersoft guys who say, "Oh, go ahead, just do whatever you want to do, but don't tell anybody!" and 5 superlegalistic (and ignorant!) guys who say "THAT IS A HEINOUS SIN MY SON; I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT AND THINK IT IS VERY WEIRD AND HATEFUL." and you have to look them in the eye and say very politely but very firmly, "I'm sorry, but you don't meet my standards for an accountability partner. I'm looking for someone who is well-informed about this issue, someone who knows how to balance grace, mercy, and God's Justice. I'll keep looking." You should try to find someone WHO KNOWS. Around where I used to live, there is this guy Bruce McCutcheon, who has written a book on his own experiences. He's DEFINITELY been around the block on this issue! He did some stuff with teenagers as a grown man, and his conscience got to him, and he turned himself in and DID THE JAIL TIME. Then he wrote a book on it, "Counseling the Pedophile" from a Christian perspective. THAT'S a guy who knows what he's talking about!

---Didaskalos