I believe first in formost that Jesus has a plan for me.
I believe that everything that has happened to me is a piece to a puzzle, and I've been too distracted to put it together - until today.

I'm done hiding, I've told my friends, my family is next. I'm done being encased in misery and shame. My friends love me, and my family loves me even more. Someone has to stand up for gay followers of Christ - and that is defintely what I want. I can be a celibate and holy man reguardless of how I feel. I've thought it through, and I've devised a plan on how to do this; less focusing on my sexual feelings - It doesn't define me, so I won't treat it as such.

I believe there is room for masturbation in every mans life, - I truly do believe that by focusing on it less - when the time comes to relieve myself I'll be more 'objective' I guess is the word for it - where it comes all about just getting it out of my system - when your savoring the feeling looking at porn - I think it's safe to say you have the wrong idea. I believe it's going to come down to baby steps - lessening the amount I do it every week slowly and effectivly, so it all comes down to when I just need to get it out of my system - which in the end is going to be crucial for me to function.

I just can't wait to get into the core of my life - you know - I want to reach out to gay teenagers, that is something I really want to do, because I don't take crap from people who insult us - especially from other followers of Christ - I can't wait to pave a way for us somewhere in the world - make it where gay followers of Jesus isn't anything new - or where it doesn't seem like anything new. Make it where people realise we ARE people, we can function outside of sin, and beyond that there is no difference in us all.

I can honestly say, with the discussions I've had with close friends, old and new, I'm inspired.