Youth I'm sorry you've lost your best friend, I know how painful that can be. It will hurt for awhile but you will be ok, it will especially help if you have other stable good people in your life.

"If I don't accept my feelings that I have for other males, my life is just gonna suck"

You are absolutely correct but you are wrong about it stabbing God in the back. You don't have to pray yourself straight to make God happy with you, be a good Christian or anything else. I wish you good luck with accepting yourself for who you are as a gay child of God and with recovering from your broken friendship.

Gs