1. Were any of you sexually abused as children? (I was not, at least not that
I know of).

Had very poor sense of boundaries as a kid, was raised to be "good," i.e., compliant & not hit back, not throw things, so many of my childhood "friends" were abusive to me. I have a strong sense -- in dreams and whatever -- that the BL stuff is some underground attempt to make those things right. Though of course, as an adult I know you can never change the past.

2. Any of you that are married, how do you manage your relationships with
your wife?

Not married.

3. Do any of you have children, and if so, are there any temptations there? I desperately want my own, but I am afraid of what I have the potential to do.



4. Are any of you actively working in a ministry type environment with
those with whom you struggle with an attraction to?

I have done "Beginning Anew" and "Taking back ground" post-gay programs. Mostly my work involves heroic story-telling, which (I believe) plays a CATALYTIC role in helping young guys come to an understanding of their masculinity. but I do have occasional flare-ups of Christian charity now and then. (By CATALYTIC, I mean that THE STORIES THEMSELVES DON'T CHANGE, and I myself don't get personally involved with any of my audience members' masculinity journeys, but hearing the stories does cause "things" (the crises of a developing male identity) to happen faster than they would have, and in a more orderly manner.)

As far as me working in a Youth Ministry, or whatever, no. Not a good idea. Kids need to be emotionally filled, and kept in a four-sided playpen with boundaries. Anybody who is "talking the BL talk" is saying that they are not emotionally filled and don't have a good sense of boundaries.

These are things you get from older men, not from kids. (As ugly as older men can seem, sometimes!)

It's very typical BL-think for an adult BL, in a state of boundary confusion, to want to go back into the "kid-environment." The "thought" (I represent it as "thought," although it's miles away from real thought) is that "if I go to a place where the OTHER kids are getting emotionally filled, and getting boundaries set, then that will happen for me, too!"

You can put your finger on the boundary confusion in the word "other."

You are not a kid anymore.

Immature men who go into Youth Ed or Youth Ministry end up sucking the emotional life out of kids, and messing up their fragile boundaries
You may well get "vampire nightmares" as darkness mentions, and you'd deserve it.

If you of this is the least bit confusing or upsetting, then you have no business being in youth education/youth ministry.

That said, it's not impossible for someone with BL issues to be involved with kids. The big question is whether he is going to bring his emotional needs to an adult, or to the kids.

Don't worry that what God is calling you to do sounds weird. That's a common feeling, if you read the Bible.

Also, don't be scared of Greek. My grandfather flunked out of West Point because he couldn't do Greek, but no biggy. I'm big on Greek, and I'd be glad to help you out, if your seminary makes you do Greek. There's a lot of food for thought in the Greek stories.


---Didaskalos