you know the answer to that already cat: it's no way to make a relationship work it really isn't. It does mean that you would be making a decision to stay celibate though because you can never have sex with a boy. Is that what you really want? to be celibate I mean?
Is fantasising whilst having sex with your wife better (from a sexual point of view) than never having sex at all? For me it was the only option but . . .