That certainly was a long post. But I got thru it. Thanks for sharing so much about yourself. I'm a middle aged boylover myself. I've never been able to pinpoint any exact time or cause for my condition, orientation, whatever you want to call it. I spent many years lying to myself, thinking I was bisexual, not a pedophile. For some reason the fact that men didn't attract me (except if they looked like boys) didn't clue me in to the truth for several years. Probably because of the public's view that pedophiles are all monsters, I didn't want to admit I was one. But I can honestly say that when I finally admitted to myself what I was, was when I really started to learn how to deal with it.

Pedophiles are not monsters. It's possible to lead a Godly life and still be one. For myself, I acknowledge to myself that I have these attractions, then just get on with life. I enjoy the love that I have for boys while suppressing the sexual attraction. It's still there, but it doesn't control me. I have been tempted to find a young looking adult to indulge my sexuality, but I don't think this is what God would want. I believe He calls us to be celibate unless we can find a woman we can love and marry. This has not been my path, but some boylovers can find love and stimulation from a woman.

Anyway, welcome to CBF.

Dakota