I have been having a sexual relationship with my wife for nearly 20 years.

During that time I have sincerely, I believe, tried to enjoy being with her for her own sake.

I have looked at her body... like stared and stared at it... and I do find her attractive. I have tried to feed that attraction.

The results:
ZIP!

I have no sexual attraction towards her at all.
If anything, forcing myself has just made my lack of attraction worse!

I now hate having sex with her.

If feeding theory worked surely by now I should feel something positive.... but I don't.

I don't have much respect for feeding theory.

Neither (for much the same reasons) do I have much respect for "do the actions first and the feelings will follow" theory.

I do see my sexuality as brokenness. However, not everything is broken. Having powerful loving attraction to someone is a GOOD thing. I don't have to use it to feed the broken parts of me.

Blessings
Cat.