Maybe now is the time to ask her, and yourself, "Can we split amicably and operate as a healthy divorced family?"

Many many many kids live wonderful lives with seperated parents. It's sub-ideal, sure, but it has been proven in study after study after study that living in a household with a forced marriage getting angrier and more bitter every year is worse. The parents start blaming their unhappiness on their children; after all, they're only staying together for them, only denying their potential happiness with a different spouse / partner for them. Even if it's only subconscious, the kids feel it. But after an amicable divorce, with a stable living arrangement made, and when both parents can arrange stable lives apart but nearby, life retuns to a healthy state again.

It would help a lot if you can partially come out to your friends at church (tell them you're gay, which is not a lie, just not the whole truth. You are attracted almost exclusively to males after all.) You can explain that the ex-gay method of using marriage to cure homosexuality was not God's will for you when people ask about the divorce.

From my parent's (bad) experience, I suggest that you employ a divorce councilor to help you sort out a separation agreement for a "trial run" and then later, if you do decide to, finalize a divorce contract. This is where an amicable divorce can turn ugly and bitter, which is why you should have someone to help. Maybe your pastor can direct you in someone he knows.

I will pray for your friendship,
~CSL