Have you read the Dutch novel 'For a lost soldier' by Rudi van Dantzig? I saw the film in the early 90's and was totally hooked. I couldnt get it out of my mind for weeks so I ordered the book through the local library. The book was a bitter disappointment because, whereas the film makes them almost equals, it is clear in the book that this is an abusive relationship. It is a book that all bls should read I think.