I was never encouraged to teach. I discovered that I wanted to teach when I was 16. I think it was because I was friendly with the younger boys and girls when I was at school. I think that was the start of my BL crisis. When I was 16, my closest friend was 11.

I was never rejected as a potential ordinand. I went through the process twice, first as an undergraduate student and then as a post-graduate student. The process ended on both occasions by mutual agreement. The Church didn't rally round because I never really sought their support. I never really wanted to be ordained but was "obeying a call". The disadvantage at the time was my low boredom threshold although clearly there were many other problems too.

So I am having another rather hopeless day, after having lunch with a person I dislike because of her very right-wing political opinions which I find tragic.