No - it's a bad idea to ignore our emotional wounds - we need to sort through them. Which is painful - especially those of us BLs who lack anyone we really talk to about such stuff. On a good day this board can be a starting point - and sometimes just writing it down is a start to the healing process. The most basic element of any 'counselling' process is actually just being listened to, and even if it is only the anonymous voice on the internet, that's better than nothing. The strange thing is that it's not about providing answers - always a temptation - it's about being listened to.

The other thing to bear in mind is the Christian perspective: however much we care about our former YFs / BFs, we can be sure that Jesus cares about them more - and so we can pray about them with that certainty.

But it's great to hear that things are so much better for you now - I guess we can add you to the list of people who arrived here thoroughly miserable and are now doing pretty good. It's always good to hear that some people do find a way through the challenges that were threatening to overwhelm them; it gives hope.