You can still be the "good" person you wish to be. It sounds to me that you are well on your way to being that good person, though I don't know you well enough to be certain. Just as a person's bravery is not determined by whether or not he's afraid, (indeed, the more afraid he is, the braver he can be), a person's goodness is not determined by what he feels. It's determined by what he does. I would further declare that a person who controls his inner demons is more good than a person who doesn't have those demons, even if their actions are the same.

Dakota