God can be found. He isn't hiding. I think the problem is that there is so much other garbage out there is the world, and yes even in the church, that it can get darn confusing at times. I'm sorry you were indoctrinated into the church by those selling it like some kind of fire insurance. But if it got you seeking, it wasn't a totally bad thing. I can honestly tell you that I would choose to follow God (ie: be a Christian) even if there wasn't an eternal reward or punishment. So keep searching. You'll find Him.

Dakota