I would suggest it's not about blame or fault dude.

You are what you are... you desire what you desire.

But it's not your desire that defines you... it's what you do with it.

I think that it's great that you are getting to a place where you are being honest with yourself.... and now with others. This is a good thing.

Like you'll always hear around here... there's nothing wrong with being a minor attracted person.

You can still live a holy and Godly life.

Further, there's nothing wrong with the reality that you enjoyed sex as a kid nor that you'd find sex enjoyable again. Sexual pleasure is a gift from God. There's a lot of pressure in the non-pedo world to call all child sex "mollestation" or "abuse". I used to call mine that too... but I have since come to admit that I not only liked it... I wanted it and I went back for more.

Again these realizations do not mean you have to advocate boy sexing nor participate in it again in the future.

In my mind there's only one negative against boy sexing that really matters... and that is "God says no".

Your realizations are not so monsterous Youth. I hope that soon you'll see that and you'll settle emotionally.

Blessings
Cat