This isn't just an excuse (because I really wish I did feel the love of the Holy Spirit), but I have excessive masculinity. In that I use the left side of my brain more intensively than other people.

I know this might sound odd, and I hope it doesn't show up to anyone, but I actually had to learn empathy like a skill. For that matter... I don't feel love from people as easily. Although, I do believe in it, and I certainly want to show other people love. Admittedly that comes from my desire for intimacy as a means of self gratification, but I've decided that even if it is not selfless the outcome is still love, which is beautiful.

The reason I'm worried is because the right brain is much more in-tune with the Holy Spirit than the left. The left brain is where the ego is located. So, naturally due to my anatomy I don't expect to recieve the Spirit so easily. This in a way explains why (apart from OBEs and hallucinations), I have never felt the Holy Spirit in my life.