I am one of the only people in my life who is actually interested in spiritual affairs besides my mother's side of the family who are all Mormons. But all they can give me is what they believe and I've heard it a million times. I have my friend's mother who is really intelligent and has done a lot of research but I only see her like once a week and rarely get to chat, whereas my Grandma who I also love talking to lives hours away in Kent. I just get a few phone calls in usually.

It's very relieving to have people around me who are boylovers and also Christians. As you can imagine and as we have all experienced there are many questions and conflicts I have going around my head about this stuff. I don't even understand how to recognise answers to my prayers, and for me it's like a useless tool.

So you know, expect me to be popping in now and again for comfort or advice. I wish I could even treat this as an emotional thing but it's only over the internet. Guess I've just realised how lonely I am in some ways.

Thanks.