You know... because secretly inside me I think that anal sex is beautiful as well. I never used to... I used to think it was odd and unattractive, but once I got into boys it grew on me quite a bit. But I often get ashamed of it because of what Christendom shouts out so loudly, "PERVERSION".

That's another thing about me. I label everything that excites me as 'beautiful'. I can admire so ineffably the beauty of a boy's body... his face, his torso, his legs, his shoulders and the curves of his thighs and bum... but in the end I know it's just that I want to shag him senseless. It's like I'm trying to put an acceptable face over a monster.

But the thing is... it works. Because I want nothing less than true, non-possessive affection and love for my boy. So this 'perversion' I have, is to me, a blessing.

It's strange how psychologies work.