Hello Unique,

With all due respect your post sounds like a tantrum.

God loves you more than you can comprehend. He cares about your life more than you do yourself. He has blessed you with gifts more abundant than you can really comprehend.

It's not really very appropriate for us to sit about complaining about the stuff we want but don't get.
The only appropriate response to God is grattitude.

In my humble opinion, you are not burdened by restrictions God has placed on your life, but by unmet expectations you have placed on God. "God for me to be happy I need this and this and this and it's just not fair that I don't get to have that... how can you do this to me!!!"
Rather: "God You daily give me more than I deserve, You even gave Your own beloved Son for me, and you have placed me in one of the wealthiest nations on earth, you have granted me a healthy body and a sound mind... and on and on and on (there's really so much to be thankful for)... Help me Father to serve you in grattitude".

I know the pain of not being able to have that boy companion we long for so deeply. I know the jealousy of seeing heteros have it and take it for granted. But God by no means owes it to anyone. I encourage you to let go of the life you wish God had given you and embrace with thanksgiving the one He has.

Blessings
Cat.