If I was a heterosexual male I would be the type that would spoil my partner in the most romantic ways possible however it seems I ended up on the wrong team.

While its easy to say "as Christians we should find such love from our fellow Christians in our church.." can you imagine how much of the worlds population would actually be content living in that way if they were asked to suddenly abonden their heterosexual and homosexual feelings and lifestyle ???

It may work for some people as everyone is so different, there are so many extremes and combinations of sexualities in this world, between all the black and white areas there is so many different shades of grey, on the opposite end of this spectrum there are "Asexuals" who dont feel any sexual or physical attractions towards others and even so there are different grades of Asexuals who have the occasional attractions and then on the other opposite of the spectrums there are for example "bisexual nymphomaniacs" that deeply desire both sexes and in between there are all sorts, then there are semi-asexuals who are at the same time also gay, bi, hetrosexual or boylovers, they dont have an intense craving for a physical relationship but if they happen to meet a juvenile or adult male or female depending on their preference they would be content bothways wether alone or with someone. Boylovers who fall into the different spectrums above these easily find fullfilment with the church and basic friendship and dont have too much of a hard time with isolation and celebacy. Then ther are boylovers who also feel some attraction to adult females and can find some hapiness in marriage. I even know a few people who find living in a remote quiet part of the mountains isolated by themselves satisfying and peaceful, I however am not one of them...

I hate being alone more than anything, I am a person however who finds fulfilment from sharing the joyful moments in my life with others, wether it be family or friends, and know the ultimate would be the joy with sharing this with someone I deeply love. I am a hopeless romantic and feel a deep yearning for a soulmate, it only takes a one second glance for me to fall deeply in love with some random person who I happened to cross paths with. My life would only be complete had I met someone that I was attracted to on all levels and was able to openly spend my life with this person, and announce it to my family and the world and have God's and everyones approval and blessing and be romantic with this person and live happily ever after. This is the only way I would be fulfilled, however as a BL my desires do not meet my own morals, values and beliefs so therefore my dreams are quite ridiciliously unrealistic and for this I choose never to be with a boy, that is not even an option for me. So that in turn leaves me tormented and greatly unsatisfied with my life.