This is a phrase which Keith Clark, a Franciscan 'monk' (yeah I know he's a friar not a monk, but it's a distinction lost on most people, pedant...), uses in his wonderful book 'An Experience of Celibacy' (available on Amazon) for the process of taking our pain at isolation and loneliness to God - and finding Him there for us. A one line summary would be that as celibates we need to use loneliness as encouragement to go deeper with God and here are some hints as to how... a gross over simplification, but perhaps gives you a flavour. Monks have a lot to teach us about how to live the celibate life; though this is not to suggest that it is easy, it is to say that there is much grace to receive from God if you are willing.

You also speak of 'friends'. To which my immediate reaction is to ask 'How many know that you are a BL'? Most of us spend most of our lives hiding the fact away, which means that people are not seeing the whole of us, and so are, I suspect, instinctively aware that there's 'something not quite right'. One of the advantages of my brush with the criminal justice system was that it forced this fact to be revealed to many of friends who were previously unaware of it. I'm happy to say that almost all of them coped well - indeed it is a measure of the quality of a Christian's real commitment to God as to whether they cope with perceived 'sin' in others...

I have found it invaluable to start to communicate with others on this board via (anonymous) email; certainly there was a period in my life when a good day was defined as a day when I got such an email from one of the people I'd met here. See here:

http://www.glgarden.org/safemail/

for a discussion of the safety / security aspects; a blue name at the top of a post indicates an email address is hiding, one click away, under there - though you'll probably have to cut and paste it into your browser to use an anonymous email provider.

Having said all that, I have to admit it's still not easy. I burst into tears recently discussing with a friend the prospect of a imminent significant birthday and the fact that there was noone who would be motivated to organise something for me; but I am blessed that there is someone with whom I can discuss the matter. Similarly I've long since abandoned going to weddings because I know that they will rub salt in the wound of loneliness: seeing others' happiness in a way that I am unlikely ever to experience.

This site provides evidence that it is possible to survive as a BL in the modern world. That we are suffering is a given; however the New Testament attitude to suffering is rather different from our modern culture's.

Consider:
'We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance' Rom 5 v 3

'Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.' Rom 8 v 17

and
'I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.' Rom 6 v 18

Our long term prospects - in heaven - are wonderful, but in the interim we are on a battlefield. People get hurt in battles and on the whole the church has proved to be lousy at caring for those struggling with 'unacceptable' sins. WE, the church, must do better....

I hope there's some stuff in there that will be of value!