That happens to me, too. Unfortunatley it tends to happen most when I'm at church because this is one of the only places I frequent where kids are to also be found in any number. I think the methodology was slightly different in our respective programs but the results were the same. Because the same thing happnes to me when I am around a group of children or even just one. I know exactly what you mean about the dark cloud of shame. It never fails to show up now and it has caused me some terrible periods of depression, anxiety, and grief.