Jesus already made you a new man when He made you born again.

I would suggest bigcalv that discouragement does not come from our Holy Father... rather it is a work of our enemy, the accuser of the breathren.

There are physoligical reasons for your cycle. The human body is seasonal. You stay awake for a while and you get sleepy. You don't eat for a while you get hungry. You don't have an orgasm for a bit and you get horny. You satisfy the needs and they go away for a while but soon you will crave them again.

I believe that persecuting yourself for engaging in SOLO sexual release is like persecting yourself for eating or sleeping. We don't tell ourselves things like, "Gosh I got hungry again and I gave in to eating... I'm so hopeless"... or "I'm so sorry I got tired and fell asleep". I think it's equally ridiculous to say, "oh no... I masturbated again!"

God, I believe, wants us to be focused on serving others. Satan's best trick at keeping us away from that is to get us obsessing over bodily pleasures. Take what you need to be healthy and balanced of food, sleep and masturbation and then get on with the work... there's so much to do. Don't let Satan drag you into excess (like porn) and neither let him drag you into condemnation for having human need.

You believe that having sex with a teen boy would be sinful and I agree with you... but you are NOT DOING THAT. PRAISE GOD!!!

Jesus said, "My Peace I give you" (John 14:27)... recieve it bro... Christianity is not meant to be such a struggle.

Blessings
Cat.