...that boylove desire is equal to the desire to murder?
If so, I object!

That my heart hungers for the boy-imago does not mean I have any intention of violating him.

That my own internal struggle with lust bears some similarities with Beckerts in that I struggle with desires that won't leave me and that motivates me to act... yet I am very far from acting in such uncontroled or other-harming ways as Beckerts seems to be. I see that whilst I share his battle in one respect I am not a man like he in a very significant other. I don't have the ghosts of mothers and damaged children haunting me. On the contrary, I have mothers and children who are grateful for my imput into their lives.... albeit it with caution (since they are never quite sure if they can really trust a pedophile). I don't voilate to take power and make the pain go away... I deal with my own pain and use the strength I gain from such learning to enrich the lives of the boys I love.

I do not like being compared to this type of character just becuase I'm a BL. Sure I'd love to engage sexually with the imago, as my fantasy life reveals, but were I to put a real boy in such a place then I'm not honouring him as a person created in the image of God and so I choose not to do so.

The attraction is not the destroyer... My boy-god can lead me to worship as long as I recognise that HE is not THE GOD, but merely a wonderful IMAGE of HIM and as long as I realise that the ACTION of worship is self-controled love and honoring and not unbridaled pursuit of self-gratification and pleasure on the alter of his body.

Blessings
Cat.