Hi clolibre, welcome to our board. It's always good to have new members.

I think a lot of us here can relate to what you say. I recall the years spent praying for God to deliver me from what at the time, I considered an affliction. I too have made peace with myself and come to understand it as not so much an affliction, but a personality quirk tied to a very special gift.

As for your theology, I can't say I agree with any of it. The idea that God wants this life to be like things were before the fall of man contradicts the entirety of the bible. We live in a fallen world that in no way resembles the world of the Garden of Eden and we cannot live as if we had never fallen, no matter how much we wish we could. The hope is that through Christ, we will move on to the next life where such an existence is possible. It is not possible in this one; for if it were, Christ died in vain.