I can relate to both these types of 'boy-love'.

Very much for me there is a battle to subdue the one and elevate the other.... on one hand

and on the other hand...

to hold on to the virtuous one and enjoy its blessing without being discouraged in that by the presence of the other darker side.

What is most pleasing is to step back from the details and look at the bigger picture and see that one is living more in "sought enthusiasm" than "involuntary sickness".

Blessings
Cat.