I'm really feeling the same way right now NG.

When I look at my yf (as a whole human package, not just his appearance) he makes me marvel at God. I try and take the love that I feel for him and use it to help me love others. Like the other day, my daughter was asking me for help to find something she'd lost. I was tired and laying down and she was saying "come and help me dad" and I was thinking, "leave me alone I'm tired"... but then a light came on in my head. I said to myself, if it was your yf asking for help you'd leap up with enthuasium, so why not love your daughter like that? And so I lept out of bed and helped her with enthuasium. If that isn't God at work through the love I have for my yf what is?

And as to the lust thing. I have been thinking that it is so wrong to define myself or my relationships based centrally on the attraction element. If I love someone AND I'm attracted to them, then the attraction issue should be put aside SO THAT I can love them better. It should never be the other way around, where I put the LOVE aside so that I don't lust for them. It wouldn't even work anyway.

Blessings
Cat.