I remember more than a few times when I had to be a kind of "go-between" with "L" and his mom or his grandparents. Most of the time it worked, but sometimes it didn't. There were times when they would confide in me about some problem they were having with him, and I would take him for the weekend and would be able to talk to him about it. He would listen to me and consider my advice because I had earned the right to be heard by him. I had spent the time with him; many, many hours of talking and REALLY listening to what he had to say. He knew that I really cared about how he felt and what he thought about things. But it wasn't an easy thing to do, to put oneself in the middle of things between a son and his mom or grandson and grandparents. I spent many an evening debating whether or not to keep something he confided in me about a secret from his mom or not. That's one of the hardest calls to make, you know, the whole thing about secrets. We worked it out, "L" and I, but it wasn't easy.

His mom loved him dearly, but she was a single mom who was trying to date when she could and, yes, there were times when it looked like she was way more interested in finding a man than taking care of her son. It wasn't easy for me to see that it only SEEMED that way and that she was never too far away from him emotionally. That was perhaps the most difficult thing of all for me because of my own love for him and my attatchment to him. Sometimes I had to just "let him go", so to speak. Like when I really wanted to take him for a day to do something special but she had other plans that didn't sound nearly as cool as the ones I had. But you have to take it all in stride when you are involved with a YF, I guess. Oh Lord I miss those times, though. If I had it all to do over, I doubt I would ever change a thing. Even the mistakes seemed to turn out ok with him and I, don't ask me how...they just did.

Chris