The effect of the teenage years is to test to the limit the relationship that has been built up between adults and the child / teenager. If there has been little real communication before the age of 12, then it is hardly a surprise if the kid goes his own way afterwards with no regard to the adults around him. If there has been REAL communication - as seems to have been the case with Chris and L then the teenager is likely to carry on with that relationship, whether it was with a parent or another. The problem with modern life (one of many) is that parents spend little quality time with their kids - too busy watching TV / working / doing Church stuff - with the result that when the tempest of teenage years arise, the relationship collapses under the strain and an 'armed standoff' ensues with the kid treating the home as a bed and breakfast hostel while doing their own thing totally independent of the family.

It's not completely hopeless to restore those relationships if the parents are willing to make the effort - but it will require them to put in a lot of time and effort. On a good day we may be able to provide a bridge between our YF and his parents - but that is a very difficult act.....