I am a Christian and am attracted to boys and this causes me great conflict. The lust keeps me away from a close relationship with God. When the lustful feeling happen over and over again I feel ashamed and retreat from God. I know that he is all forgiving but, I feel bad for continually falling into lust. I have begged God to heal me and take those feelings away, to just rip it from by insides. I pray that I will wake up one day and not have the lust any more. Those feeling are still here. Will God heal me one day!

I have never acted on the lust because my paternal instinct is very strong, but the lust is always lurking. A Christian person I know in the same condition as I warned me that if you play with fire you’re going to get burned. I have a YF. Do you think that is a warning from God to end the relationship? It would not be easy to end the relationship quickly because of circumstance I can’t go into. It would really hurt my YF to end the relationship, it would hurt me too but I could handle it. Should I end it now? Should I end it gradually? Should I continue it? My prayer is that God will give me a way out if that is his will.

I am educated but this is very difficult to write. Please excuse my style of writing.

I’m so confused! Oh how I wish was normal it certainly would be a lot less complicated.