As hard as it may be, you need to stop letting him get away with all this. Letting a YF wrap us around their finger is ok TO A POINT. It's kind of like why it's ok for grandparents to spoil their grandchildren a bit. We are not their parents, so experts have said that it's actually healthy for grandchildren to not be held to the same strict standards as they are with parents. I think it's the same with YFs. Cutting them a little slack is fine. But when it gets to the level you describe, it's unhealthy for both you and him. Interestingly, there has been much written about the same sort of thing in hetero relationships, where one partner takes advantage of the other because they know they are so important to them.

Unfortunately, to break this cycle, you have to take the chance of losing him. And you might. It depends on if you mean anything to him or if he is just totally using you. But if he is only using you, do you really want to stay trapped in that situation?

The depression complicates things a bit. I had friend (adult) who had some mental problems he was diagnosed with. I can't remember the specifics. But he quite regularly used that as an excuse to behave badly. The best thing to do in that situation is to work with a mental health professional to determine what is due to his illness and what is not. If that is not possible, the best you can do is read up on the subject and make your own call. But letting him get away with using you is not helping either of you. If you love him, you have to risk losing him.

Dakota