"does our interference in boys' lives FREE boys from the eternal matricentric orbit, or does it simply replace ONE heavy matricentric pole of rotation with ANOTHER, namely, our own flourishing mother-complexes?"

AKKK! I so object to the presuppositions I seem to hear in this statment!
For one the implication is that "interference" is a bad thing. I don't like the use of that word. I don't interfere in boy's lives... I "participate" and, God willing, for the benefit of both.
To love and to relate that is what we are designed to do... and, if that is what we are seeking, then to call it interferance offends that principle I believe.
Secondly I don't seek to FREE boys from anything. My goal with any relationship is to bulid things like friendship and trust and commitment, to encourage stability and growth and strong roots... Freedom is far from these things... these things are binding. Within this ruberic, a boy's relationship with his mother is to be built and encouraged in a healthy way I beleive.
Thirdly, I resent the implication that all BLs are suffering under a flourishing mother complex... more AKKKK!....For goodness sake... could it be even slightly possible that some of us are actually the men we were designed to be!
Finally, I'm not in a boy's life to replace anything. I'm there to help him grow into manlyness and Godlyness. I have a heritage to pass on, wisdom, experience and most of all... love. I can take delight in his little soul and let him know that there is a great big God out there who loves him more than he could imagine... and hopefully I can be an instrument of that affection.

"Or is the job of the boy-lover best carried out catalytically, without any emotional involvement with a particular boy? My own theorizing about BL strongly inclines to the "catalytic" theory"
If my "job" is not relationally focused then I think I've missed the point of my existance. In my oppinion, humans are social creatures... interdependant... and built to thrive in community.
My job is to not try and sntach the boy up selfishly and suck his life out of him (hehe Hi Darkness! :P). It's not to run off with him and shelter him away and not share him with anyone. It's to join with the boy in community and help him grow up as a functional part of that community. As Godspell so aptly said once, "It takes a village to raise a child".
The imago is in my heart... I need to use that relationally to bless those I love. If I get catalytic... then I'm just being introspective... and sure there's a place for that...but only in as much as it helps me fulfill my function back in the community.
To try and be boylovers without any emotional involvement with a particular boy would be a denial of our God given purpose and gifting. There are boys out there who absolutely need what we have to offer... (and it's not sex!)... let's be to them men who love them in a self-controled and godly manner.... and yet delight in everything about them. If I can do that well... I'll be doing my job... and that to the praise and glory of God.

Blessings
Cat.