I don't know... I think too much emphasis is placed on this mother thing.

Sure there is the female in my story I'm running away from... but she's not my mother!

The female I'm looking for in my wife is a child. The little girl to compliment my little boy. Any thought of me relating to her as mother is abhorent to me... I'm so OVER the mother thing.

I relate to the wanting to escape the mother clutches... but once you break free... she can't take you back... her power is gone. You are the man now... it's your turn to care for the mother she doesn't own you anymore... now the service is voluntary.

I don't see us needing a masculine identity that is separate from a feminine one... I see us as needing a masculine identity that is complementary to a feminine one. Two half's making a whole but in two different people. I don't have a feminine side!... I object to the very suggestion... I'm a man... all my sides are male sides.

When I love a boy... it's not in a feminine way... I love his "little manlyness" with my maleness. If he was feminine or I was... then I wouldn't be interested. I don't believe that my mother-wounds or female issues are related to my boylovering. Perhaps in youth they helped to shape my interest in boys... I feel in love with the wounded boy I saw in the mirror... he was wounded by females and an absence of males... but it is him in his very essence that I love... for his own sake and not because I am wounded.

Blessings
Cat.