I was quite taken by this post by Andre @ bc: It addresses a number of issues that need to be addressed. To put it mathematically, how much force, aimed in what direction, is necessary to break boys out of their natural matripetal orbit? The unveiled infant-centered sexuality expressed in this post suggests that the figure would be rather high. *F*o*r*midably high. And also, for us boy-lovers, does our interference in boys' lives FREE boys from the eternal matricentric orbit, or does it simply replace ONE heavy matricentric pole of rotation with ANOTHER, namely, our own flourishing mother-complexes? Or is the job of the boy-lover best carried out catalytically, without any emotional involvement with a particular boy? My own theorizing about BL strongly inclines to the "catalytic" theory . . .but what do you guys think?

---Didaskalos

(Stolen from bc)

http://www.boychat.org/messages/1143849.htm

If men can be arrested for
Posted by Andre on 2008-October-19 23:47:54, Sunday
an innocent hug of a child, how can mothers can get away with baby love?

What determines when sensual feelings of closeness, warmth and bonding become sexual in nature and therefore criminal in an erotophobic society? Can such a distinction be made ? Or are sensual and sexual feelings intertwined to such a degree that they are in essence biologically the same thing even stimulating the same parts of the brain. What authority is going to impose and enforce such a distinction?

I can see it now - no more breastfeeding allowed in America.

Excerpts from Baby Love by Christen Clifford in the book "Everything You Know About Sex is WRONG"



How do I summarize my sex life before the baby? Well, I had one. I lost my virginity at fifteen, had four partners by the time I was seventeen. …… I had boyfriends and a few girlfriends, some serial monogamy with lots of fucking around in between.

When I hit 30, we decided we were ready for a baby.
But we were, in fact, just like everyone else: Our sex went down the toilet right away. It started with the birth.

I was in diabolical pain and shat everywhere, including standing up on the bed while barking at the nurse, "No I’m not having the baby I’m just taking a shit put something underneath me now."

I’d never had stitches anywhere before, had never broken a bone. It was quite a shock to be injured, and to injured there. When I finally got the courage to look, it was a huge relief to see that my clitoris was still there, and in the same place. But I discovered a womb with a view.
Eventually, I felt around and masturbated, tentatively. As I became aroused, my breasts squirted milk. That was cool. I felt like a teenage boy trying to see how far he could shoot. When I told this to one of my mommy friends, she said, "You should try masturbating while breastfeeding. It’s amazing."

I knew that no one has sex for months after having a baby (except teenagers, my doctor told me). ….I had used sex to fill every possible hole in my life up until the day I gave birth.

I love my son more than I love my husband. I didn’t come to this realization; it was just there one day, and it always had been there, from the day Felix was born. I know Felix’s body better than I know my own.

Sometimes I’m afraid I go too far. I linger a little too long when I look at his dimpled ass. I enjoy it too much when I put lotion on after his bath. I know everybody loves a naked baby; I know that children are inherently sexual; I know it’s normal to be turned on by your infant. One fatherhood book has a sidebar that tells new dads not to get freaked out if they get a hard-on. But this is tricky territory. Is it okay to think of my baby when I masturbate? Is that just a manifestation of his all-consumingness? Babies are like a gas - they expand to fit all available space.

But I worry that I’ll subtly cross the line, that the sexuality I share with Feliz will fuck him up.

People always say of breastfeeding, "It’s sensual, not sexual." But it is sexual.


Andre