There is nothing like the relationship between a BL and his YF. Since moving away from my YF of 3 years, I have had a void in my life. In this new city I have strived hard to build new adult friendships. I constantly play on sports teams, go out with colleagues from school and work, and volunteer. Despite all these adult friendships and relationships I have, nothing seems to be able to replace the void that has been left by not having my YF around. He is 18 now, and I have only talked to him once in the past two months. I want to let go of him so much, or find another YF to replace him. I sometimes forget, however, that it took me four years just to meet him. In my ideal life, he would have been the one I spent the rest of my life with. Adorable, in shape, intelligent and outgoing. Interestingly enough, now that he is an adult, in my ideal world I can envision a gay relationship where we might even marry one day. Too bad he doesn't swing that way. So i continue to attend social outings, go to school, work, and I sit here at my computer with a void in my heart that I hope will be filled soon. I would rather leave him and my ideal world behind, find a new YF, and begin the whole process of BL to YF relationship again. I just hope it doesn't take another four years.