Yes, that's the mistake we make
Submitted by Eldad on 2008-10-6 11:34:59, Monday
In reply to anybody else feel this way? submitted by marc on 2008-10-6 08:28:53, Monday
| We see the best bits in our YFs, and we respond to the elements in his personality that match our own. As a result we lose sight of the fact that he is actually far younger than we are. There's an interesting debate as to whether this reflects the fact that we are actually immature emotionally - one explanation of BoyLove that is sometimes offered - or just responding at the level because we have learnt to enjoy doing so. What is certainly the case is that we need to learn to relate as well to adults as we do to boys, because the alternative is that we will remain vulnerable in lots of ways. Working at moving your Age of Attraction up steadily is a strategy that has worked for me; decades ago I had a 9 yo as a YF - my most recent is 24, a far less problematic age! I achieved this in part by having a safe relationship with a set of 14 year olds - who are now in their late 20s and very close friends despite the recent hiatus. |
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