I was kinda shy in high school, but I did date a few girls. I didn't have a steady girlfriend till after high school. Dating a boy was unthinkable back then, regardless of my feelings. But I did "hang out" with a few boys I was attracted to, never letting them know that I was attracted to them of course.

I've never told any of my family and I don't intend to. I don't see any good that would come of it. I confided in a very close friend years ago, when I was going thru a particular rough time and needed some support. Ironically, he was one of the boys I was very much attracted to when we were both younger. At first, it didn't go very well. He couldn't handle it and ended up telling his wife and our pastor. The pastor didn't condemn me or anything, but I ended up leaving that church because I didn't think he would ever trust me around kids and was deathly afraid his concerns would lead him to tell others about me. I felt a hasty exit from that church was best for all concerned. My friend's wife, although not understanding it, was relatively ok about it. It took a long while, but my friend eventually was cool about it. He even trusts me around his kids. If we weren't both Christians, I doubt the friendship would have survived. But even though he tries, I think he is still uncomfortable with the subject. So I don't bring it up much. I've never confided this to anyone else except anonymously over the internet.

This website is the one I found most helpful. I checked out others, like Boychat, Open Hands, even NAMBLA. (I'm not a supporter of NAMBLA, BTW) I also checked out some sites aimed towards molestation victims to look for info. You can Google up hundreds of sites for victims of abuse, very few for supporting pedophiles. People have the mistaken notion that any site that supports pedophiles also supports molestation, so sites like ours comes under attack and vigilantes try to shut them down.

I've had 2 YFs in my life at different times. YF = Young Friend. It's a term boylovers have kinda adopted to signify a boy who is special in one's life. Some non-boylovers think it means kids pedophiles are sexual with, but that is not the meaning. I'm not saying no pedophile ever is sexual with his YF, I'm just saying that isn't what the term means. Anyway, both of my YFs are now adults and I've lost contact with them. Both didn't have fathers, so I tried to be the male influence in their lives, sort of like a mentor. They were very special to me and they let me know that I was special to them also. I wasn't looking for a YF, they just kinda dropped into my life. I like to think I made their lives a little better. I know they sure made MY life better. I haven't had any other YFs "drop" into my life since then. But I have nothing against having another one if God sees fit to bring one along.

I'm sorry I can't help with the sweater problem. Have you ever considered seeing a councelor about your aversion to being touched? It seems like it would be a major hassle going thru life always guarding against someone touching you.

Dakota