First let me state very clearly that I do NOT think that it is OK for a man and a boy to have a sexual relationship... EVER.

But to be clear, my reason for this is because I believe that there is only one holy sexual relationship before God and that is in heterosexual marriage. NO other sexual relationship is acceptable to my beliefs.

However, the issue in question is whether such a man/boy relationship is going to be automatically harmful and I think the answer is no.

In some cases a boy who had such a relationship may grow up and reconsider this relationship and what he once enjoyed he may regret... but it's interesting when I read your statement:
"Are you trying to tell me that a young boy is experienced, well thought, conscientious and wise enough that they will participate in a sexual relationship with full acceptence and awareness never to regret their actions later on even when their adults thus making it "not harmful for the boy" as you stated. Im suprised to hear such a blunt statement."
Well let me ask this:
Are you trying to tell me that the majority of sexually active unmarried adults are experienced, well thought, conscientious and wise enough that they will participate in a sexual relationship with full acceptence and awareness never to regret their actions later on even though they're adults thus making it "not harmful for them" as you stated. I'm suprised to hear such a niave statement.

Do you get my point?
ANYONE who has sex may end up regretting it later... age is irrelevant to that issue. ANYONE who consents to sex may later feel like they were taken advantage of by their partner. Many sexually active adults are not experienced, well thought out, conscientious or wise enough to not regret thier decisions later or even to make well inf0rmed ones. Look also at the high divorce rate... how many people even regret getting married to someone they consentially chose to commit their whole life too and thought they would love forever!

And the simple reality is... many boys who had sex as kids don't end up feeling abused or raped... many look back on it as something they enjoyed and liked. I know this because I'm one of them! and I have heard others say similar. Sex is enjoyable even for kids. Even now I find myself wishing I could go back and try some stuff with my older friend that (through lack of understanding of sex) I didn't even know existed then. That sex is enjoyable doesn't make it right... but it is not automatically harmful. In my opinion more harm was done to me by society's rejection of me because I was a kid who liked gay sex .. than by the sex itself. I believe that most people who feel victimised by child sex either WERE forced or raped... or have been taught to feel that way by society's prejudice.

One of my counsellors told me recenlty that many men who had sex as kids struggle with how much they enjoyed it... they are scared to talk about it because they think "society won't understand" or that they fear rejection... "KIDS AREN'T SUPPOSSED TO ENJOY SEX!" our society cries.. but it's just simply not true.

"The odds of a unharmful sexual relationship as you mention are highly unlikely considereing the fact that the boy has be a homosexual, mature enough to pass judgment so that they can stand by their decission even when their adults, have an attraction to older adult males, and would have to know your intentions so their not feeling deceived and taken advantage of later on when they realise what has taken place, and the odds of all that is very low. Anyone who chooses to belive otherwise is in denial and needs to have a serious think."
I'm sorry but there's not too much I agree with in this statement. I think you are speaking straight out of what society has taught you to believe rather than what is reality.
a. It is NOT a fact that the boy has to be a homosexual. If the testimonies I've heard are true and the research I have heard about is correct many boys who have sex with men grow up to be straight.
b. attraction to an older male is not necessary for a boy to enjoy sex with one. I know that from my own experience. I wasn't attracted to the guy who sexed me up... but boy did it feel good when he touched me!
c. I was only 8 when I was first engaged sexually and I don't feel that I was decieved or taken advantage of. I knew what I was being invited to do. I knew I wasn't allowed to do it... I even knew God wouldn't approve (which in the end is why I stoped going back for more!). My "mollester" when I talked to him recently said he sex played with me because he could see I was interested... and I know that I was. Even at 8 I chose to be there. I feel more abused by the adults in my life who didn't accept me or who wouldn't listen to me when I tried to communicate about this stuff.


Burdened, I feel afraid that you may see in me someone who thinks man/boy sex is somehow acceptable and that you may take this as some kind of a personal rejection. I really don't mean for either of those things to be what I'm saying/doing here.

In my humble opionion you are fairly new to the whole boylove scene. All you have to go on are society's prejudices and years of hurt, aloneness and struggle... Feeling like a monster and all that. Brother I relate to these things.

When I first found cblf I was suicidal. I had to struggle with self-hatred and believing I was a monster and all the misconceptions society had trained me to believe.

I really hope I'm just refreshing your perspective with some reality and hopefully helping you along the path of self acceptance.
I'll never tell you that it's ok to have sex with a boy... but I really want you to see that you are not the evil shit that society has told you that you are... and that what you desire is really not that monstorous and harmful.

Let us seek holiness because that is what God wants for us, not because we believe we are some kind of rapists waiting to happen.

I know that my love for boys is a blessing from God now.
It's such a relief to know that.
Sure the sexual side is full of struggle, frustration and temptaion that has to be constnatly dealt with.... but we can do it in God's strength and live very fullfilled lives.

Blessing bro
Cat.