Hi Burdened.

I share your frustrations, but for different reasons. I'm not sure how
much of this will be acceptable to you, but I am going to lay out my own
convictions about my own life. This is a Christian forum (root word:
Christ) and my conscience is held captive to Christ's Word. In simple
terms the Scriptures say:

God Himself is absolutely perfect in every way.

God created mankind perfect

Mankind is fully responsible for the origin and the continuity of human
sin

Our current, individual, unique sinful condition is exactly the
condition we would have willingly chosen had we been in Adam's position

We are deserving of nothing but but eternal damnation

God on His own initiative send His innocent and perfect Son to
experience the punishment that we (an unlovable and undeserving world)
deserve, so that whoever is willing to accept it can escape our just
punishment

The moment that Christ claimed me my eternal fate was sealed, but He
will spend the remainder of my life investing in the process of
changing me (this is the hard part)

My new nature will be at war with my old nature until I die; no cease
fire

-----------------------------

I will never accept that the BL or similar feelings that I have are in
any way acceptable or a "gift" from God

Nevertheless, God in His great mercy and grace may chose to be strong in
my weakness and minister through me anyway

Now, my frustration: I do not expect that society will ever "accept"
this (though I so wish they would) but I DO expect the Church to accept
this, that we allow our brothers and sisters to live out their
lives in the freedom of Christ as they "work out their salvation"
with fear and trembling." As the Scriptures say:

"Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are
spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one
looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted." Galatians
6:1 (italics mine)

Far from "restoring", in the matter of BL or similar issues the Church
is (however reluctantly or eagerly) following the world in punishing its
members before they even sin, rather than graciously and lovingly
investing in their lives to prevent them from sinning.

Blessings