Thanks everyone for the support.

Marc you said "you will be hugged and kissed one day" and to "think about how you can fulfill your goals"...

I dont know if your suggesting that I will meet someone oneday, but If you are then Ive already stated that is not even option for me. I have too much of a conscience, I treat everyone with the same respect that I would like to to be treated, and believe that if I did give into my selfish desires than I would have a lot to answer for, both to myself and to karma or the energy surrounding us or God or whatever element that governs the universe.

I can put myself into peoples shoes and that includes being able to think from their perspective. If I was a young adolescent and an older guy opprached to use me for his own selfish gain, then later on in life I would have hated that and resented it, most likely I would have felt abused because I was a quite naive and ignorant as a kid and could have easily swayed and been taken advantage of. Luckily nothing like that happened to me but I refuse to let it happen to anyone else.

Our attractions are of a superficial and selfish nature, they are our desires and ours alone, their not the youths we idolise their not the ones with the problems and attractions, we are!! So why should I go and take adavantage of someone who might accept my friendship simply due to their ignorance or naive nature and then maybe regret it later on in life. I dont want to cause anyone any regret or pain or make them feel like they were abused , and if I did that I would not be able to live with myself, knowing that I've possibly hurt someone out there, cause hurt is a terrible feeling I face everyday which I dont wish upon anyone else.

It also angers me that the people who have acted out their desires towards others, or hurt them or abused them in any way are responsible for causing society to perceive everyone else with an attraction as monsters despite the fact that some of us have set boundaries and practice self control, society dose not seem to differentiate between that and it makes it even harder for the rest of us to gain acceptance in any way, and thats not fair becase I dont want to be put in the same class as someone whos practicing their desires when I refuse to do so.

I have alot on my plate already I dont want to further complicate things or carry the weight or burden by doing anything wrong to anyone else, I believe that that will only complicate things and I would end up hating myself even more, so I choose to keep my conscience as clear as possible by living alone and celibate for the rest of my life.

I dont know how the rest of you out there feel because this is all new to me, Ive never had the courage to speak about this before let alone talk to other with similar issues.