Hey Chris!
Haha, back on the board for a bit. And I'm going against my normal ritual of reading back to catch up (I have like 6 months of catching up, haha), so I'll probably be missing a few things, but here I am (but who knows for how long ...).

Anyways, I think I am fine with the fact that I am a BL. The concept is still a little funny for me when I think about it though - being that much different than the majority of people in that one particular way. But I'm fine with that fact - I haven't known anything else to compare it to. I'm a BL and thats that.

The only thing that does bother me though is the repercussions being a BL will have on my future. I'm sure you've realized from our conversations that for some reason I think about the future a lot, and a lot of me would just like a "normal" future with a wife, kids (obviously!), a regular job, average car and house in suburbia, you know. And its definitely possible for that to happen to me. But the chances are slimmer. I'm sure everyone else, BL or not, worries about their future and I have nothing to compare to, but it just seems to be less optimistic for us BLers.

I also wish I had a same aged friend that lived by me that was a BL or could atleast relate to me on that level somehow. So in a way I find that companionship can be more difficult. Don't get me wrong - I have some amazing friends in real life, and my online friends (like you Chris) are absolutely awesome and I'd give the world for them, but there is still something inside me that yearns for both together.

But as far as God accepting me, I completely believe that he not only accepts me, but further, he made me this way for a reason. I know not everyone thinks this way, and I can't really say I'm more right on this subject than anyone else. But I've seen the good that I've done and that others have done because of this, and I really do think it is a God-given gift. It is definitely a cross, but a gift too. And much like many gifts, it can be used propperly for good, or it can also be used for evil. And the thing that keeps me happy with myself is looking back and seeing how I've used this gift for good in my past, and looking forward to the many more possibilities to make a positive difference in the world (or just in the world of one boy) because of this.

Then again, I'm in a pretty happy point in life. Go a few months back and I probably would have been singing a different tune. Maybe it simply comes down to perspective?

Hopefully that was a decent answer. I'm sure there is more to say, but its late and I must be going - I can't make my first post on here in a long time be too long, now can I? Haha, talk to you soon friend!

Graces of God,
Deliverance

P.S. - I think its time I made myself a new siggie ... ideas?