Hi Cat,

What a complicated situation for you and your wife, I can so much relate to your feelings and understand them as well. I am very blessed that my wife is willing to accept a sexless marriage at least for right now and the rest of our marriage is pretty much ok. She does not want to know the details of my feelings for boys (which is another way she can cope with it) but she is willing to accept all that I can give her, which is everything except the sex. I know how you feel how I robbed her of the man of her dreams and the devastation to her when she found out. The hurt and pain it caused her, I in no way did it maliciously. I just wanted to have a family and I really thought that I could make it work and she would never would have to know. And I really do love her and want to be with her. I get so confused about it all now and some times I just can't handle it, it amazes me that my wife does a well a she does with it all.

If I was not a Christian and only by the grace and mercy of our lord and savior Jesus I would probably kill myself, but then that would be just another selfish act anyway. I think I have been selfish enough already it's time for me to put into practice what I truly believe in, which is to live the best that I can for the one who saved my life eternally and do what he put me here for.

I am sorry the sex thing did not work out for you and your wife. But You are a Christian a child of God. And I know that He has many plans for those that belong to Him. I do pray for you every day and will continue to do so, I believe just like with me that the Lord will finish the good work that He has started in you. Well I am starting to write a book so I think I will close this up now!


With Much Love In Christ

God Bless

Blaze