"Sex for lust is no-no- Sex with those you love most-- Yes!"

Well, exactly that was my problem with a boy I truly love and continue to love (He grew a lot since I saw him for the first time 15 years ago, he is 20 and married now).

The problem for me was, that it was very hard for me to handle my sexual attraction to him. So far, so common.

It would have been really easy to still my lust, his parents are and were extremely liberal, we were deeply fond of each other, we did a lot of cuddling and we even shared the bed when I was invited to his parents, and he was a very sensual and courious kid.

It wouldn't have been much of a problem, I do not think that in itself it would have left scars on his soul when it would have happened in a caring and loving way....

Struggling with that urge was extremely powerconsuming for me, and as long as I saw "it" as evil, i had a really hard time, always fighting with no hope for a lasting victory.

What helped me in this situation was a thought which came to me in one single moment, when I was caressing him. I thought: If I would be caught, not only I would be bound for jail, but it would be a very hard time for him, loosing me, feeling guilty for that and for God-knows-what, and having to handle police interrogations and psychologists.

So, at the end I did not abstain because of fear or fear of feeling guilty, but for not wanting him having a messed up live.

So Sex with the human being I loved most in my whole lifetime until now was a no-no.

Namaste,

Sushil


P.S.: Sorry, now I read that you were speaking about homosexuals... But I let the post unchanged, who knows for what reason... :-)