It's a worthy quest, and no impetus for self-improvement is crazy.

But how much labour does a dispensation of God's grace require? Will the Lord really demand such a spiritual alchemy, an obscure, long-term search to find the hidden and secret philosopher's stone somewhere within Christianity that will turn base boylove into heterosexual gold? Yes, "seek and you shall find" but also "ask and it shall be given." You must have asked by now, perhaps a thousand times. And if you ask and it is not given? Paul had this experience and he says, "And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.'"