Can I ask you this question?

Why did you get married?
I knew I was a BL when I got married and I got married hoping I would get healed.... after 20 years I still haven't and am starting to think that healing may not be God's plan for me.

Did you know your sexual feelings when you got married?... Did your wife?
If you weren't attracted to her sexually what motivated you?

Don't feel obligated to share.
Blessings as ever,
Curious Cat.