Thank you Cat :)

And you are right of course. I don't deny it at all. Dysfunctional, certainly, but it doesn't make it any less true. Right now, if she left, I am almost positive I would take a nosedive. In time, I truly hope to work past this. It is one of the reasons why I don't want to start just humping like bunnies. We both need time to sort things out before getting into that type of relationship. But I do not feel I can do it here. There is too much worry, concern and imagination. If we are physical friends first, I can continue to find out who I am after the separation/divorce. And she can see that she can get unconditional love, apart from having to be sexual.

I have started with a new church here. They have been great so far. My ex-wife always held me back with church activities and such. Now that I am alone, I hope to get a little more involved... that is until I leave for England. Finding this church was literally one of the first things I did after moving here. Finding a new church in England will be a top priority. As well as getting her to come with me.

All things will work out.. I am sure they will.