I was telling my wife yesterday about the boys I loved as a teen and how I'm still in love with them even though I haven't seen them for years and years and they would be grown men now not much younger than myself.

I always cry on their birthdays. I wish I could still know them and their families.

As for my current YF. I only get to see him so occasionally and I know there are so many barriers to us spending time together. But in those times when we do get to hang out... well life is at its very best. Being with him is the most emotionally satisfying thing in my existence; the most inspiring thing. The feelings that I have for him are the ones that lead me most often to prayer and worship. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

But it is bittersweet.
I wish I could be so much more in his life, spend so much more time with him and if I want to be really really honest with myself... I wish I could marry him. But I have to accept what is and be grateful for what I have. And what I have is VERY VERY GOOD.

Is love worth it?
YES YES YES!

Blessings
Cat.