Heterosexuals don't need a divine marine drill sergeant to beleaguer them into marital function.

Youth, I am sure you're not arrogant, you're just trying to coach.

But you have it exactly right this time, that Cat's marriage bed seems to have become a perpetual boot camp and he is locked forever in a mock spiritual war.

Yes, it's true, every greenhorn that gets yelled at in boot camp and finds reserves of strength he didn't know he had feels pretty good about it, in fact, often pretty cocky. I was never in boot camp but treeplanting did the same for me.

Marriage isn't actually supposed to be like that, or at least, the sexual aspect isn't (childraising, yes).

For the record, this is what true (hetero-hetero) husband/wife marriage is like, at least in the younger years (note lack of work for drill sergeants):

“Your lips are like a scarlet thread,
And your mouth is lovely.
Your temples are like a slice of a pomegranate
Behind your veil.
4 “Your neck is like the tower of David,
Built with rows of stones
On which are hung a thousand shields,
All the round shields of the mighty men.
5 “Your two breasts are like two fawns,
Twins of a gazelle
Which feed among the lilies.
6 “Until the cool of the day
When the shadows flee away,
I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh
And to the hill of frankincense.
7 “You are altogether beautiful, my darling,
And there is no blemish in you.
8 “Come with me from Lebanon, my bride,
May you come with me from Lebanon.
Journey down from the summit of Amana,
From the summit of Senir and Hermon,
From the dens of lions,
From the mountains of leopards.
9 “You have made my heart beat faster, my sister, my bride;
You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes,
With a single strand of your necklace.
10 “How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much better is your love than wine,
And the fragrance of your oils
Than all kinds of spices!
11 “Your lips, my bride, drip honey;
Honey and milk are under your tongue,
And the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
12 “A garden locked is my sister, my bride,
A rock garden locked, a spring sealed up.
13 “Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates
With choice fruits, henna with nard plants,
14 Nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon,
With all the trees of frankincense,
Myrrh and aloes, along with all the finest spices.
15 “You are a garden spring,
A well of fresh water,
And streams flowing from Lebanon.”
16 “Awake, O north wind,
And come, wind of the south;
Make my garden breathe out fragrance,
Let its spices be wafted abroad.
May my beloved come into his garden
And eat its choice fruits!”