The MCC (LGBT-positive church) has a common saying and I know it's controversial around here when it comes to someone with a non-Type sexuality, but I'm gonna say it anyways:

GOD LOVES YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

It's that party thing again, in a way -- though I hope I'm not overworking this idea, which is not all encompassing by any means. Anyways, roughly speaking, the GPP person inspired by the spirit would want you to undertake more spiritual revolutions to try to produce a better feeling. You know all about that and in case you forget, bigcalv is here to motivate you. The inspired LP person sees the person you ARE as infinitely valuable to God, notwithstanding the intrinsic and social problems involved in BL sexuality. (Your sexual orientation being neither a handicap nor a bad habit, but rather a built-in path to love, it is, despite all problems, one of your love faculties, a strength that is there to be conscientiously exerted to bring God's love into action and fruition.) In our perspective, we regretfully feel that you cannot feel good while being exposed to sexual activity outside your sexual orientation, so though we love your wife and her marital dreams, we also love you as you are, and we can't send you back over and over into a field of sexual humiliation, as a footsoldier fighting for spiritual theories that always promise but never seem to deliver.

"The two shall be made one flesh" - it is literally true that in a relationship that's in keeping with the divine order, your partner really is your missing piece and you do seem to become one flesh with them, you seem to belong together, to the point where you intensely want to fuse in all elements, solid, liquid and aerial (breathing each others' breath in kisses), in heat, in blood, and even in mucus. You delight in each other, you are the strength of each other, you inspire each other.

In mixed sexual orientation relationships the magnets are turned the other way around and at least one partner is instinctively deeply repelled by all the physical aspects, which then damages all the other aspects.

It is these relationships, not the individual people involved, that defy the divine order. Whoever makes such unities or abets or encourages the making of such unities goes deeply against the natural prescription that the two shall be made one flesh. If either partner is going to be married, it must be to someone with whom he or she can become one flesh. If this condition is not fulfilled, surely if eventually the pain of an annulment needs to be gone through, it can be done in good conscience, since the "one flesh" condition prerequisite to marriage was never met.

To put it in simpler terms, I am not trying to disrupt your life, but if things come out as they often do in these cases, I don't believe there is shame in it for you. You have tried extremely valiantly to live up to all the other precepts of marital love in a society that wrongly de-emphasized the necessity of "one flesh," which is not mere sex, but rather, true spiritual marital bodily fusion. Which any and all real heterosexuals may enjoy with their partners, even if their bliss is sometimes lost or diluted in later years.