Last night my wife broke our separation because she was wanting some sexual intimacy.

Wanting to be faithful to my marriage vows, I cooperated and gave her what she asked for. I just pleasured her, I didn't take anything for myself.

Of course today I get the personal fall out as my brain tries to cope with forcing myself to keep going with her. I just don't know if I can do it.

I want to ... for her sake and the sake of my kids.

It won't take her long to see that I'm a mess already and she'll correctly reason that I'm not coping with sex and then it will be all messy again.

God have mercy.

I want to call it quits... I just believe it to be wrong to do so. My values and my emotions are having a major internal battle at the moment and no one is winning.

I'm barely holding off the self-destructive thinking... though I know I'm not seriously considering suicide.

Blessings
Cat.