It is so hard. This life I live. I type now, crying out of the pain that I have in my heart, knowing that no matter how much I love my YF, he will never love me the same way. I have only one week to spend with him before I leave. Tonight he was excited to go to a community festival to hang out with his girlfriend. He calls me at about 9 PM, wanting to be picked up. So I go and pick him up, he says he will tel me what happened later, but now he just wants to be by himself. There is nothing that I want more right now to be sitting next to him, his head on my shoulder, talking about life and its ups and downs. All he wants to be is alone, listening to his IPOD and playing video games, without me. And this is what I hate about life. When one is married, I imagine that you have someone you share everything with, your ups and downs, good times and bad. YOu can't wait to see that person everyday, every hour, every minute. Yet, in my relationship with my YF, it is one sided. I want to spend every second with him, and he could care less. Only one week left, and he doesn't care. I pray to God for serenity, and for Jesus to help me understand the lesson that I am learning here. But I hate looking into the future, knowing that I will never have that one person I was destined to be with, because the relationship will always be one sided. Me providing all the love, and receiving all the hurt. Please help me to understand what I can do to alleviate the hurt inside.

Thanks,
FindingMyself